"Miami International Airport has a few great selections nearby. I was really strapped for cash and only needed to stay one night, so I thought I would pick the cheapest one. Heck, they even had a shuttle to and from for overnighters like me, so how bad could it be?
I opened the door and the acrid stench of urine slapped me in the face. Not like, 'Oh hey, I think someone took a pee in here and didn't clean it up.' it was more like, 'Hide ya wife, hide ya kids.'
I sat down to console myself and turned on the TV to drown out my fears. 85% Spanish channels. Okay, not a problem, let me just adjust my seat, maybe I'll learn something. Nope. Poop mixed with lube spread underneath the seat. I walked into the bathroom to wash off my hands. Soap? Who needs it! So I manage to get out the manual keys left-handed from my right pocket and open the door just looking in horror. I washed it off at the McDonald's across the street. I bought all three of my meals there and never spoke of that night again.
I go there every night in my dreams, that place where I lost a part of me, a part that I can never, ever get back."
"When I was staying at the Cosmopolitan in Vegas last year, we discovered that the alarm clock in the room had a hidden camera in it. I ran to the front desk with the clock in hand and demanded an explanation.
Apparently, the clock was not the hotel's standard and someone took the hotel's clock and replaced it with their own for their own voyeuristic escapades. I was still pretty pissed, but the week-long free-stay voucher I got made me feel better.
I'm convinced it was someone who worked at the hotel, but I don't care enough to make a huge stink about it."
"I majored in Hotel Management in college and the most infamous story of one of the crappier hotels in town is this:
During the winter this place would shut off the water to some of their rooms to save money. When warmer weather came around a lovely couple were in town for a big event they were looking forward to. The city was packed because of the event so they had no choice but to stay at this place. So the hotel turned the water back on and when the wife went to take a shower she was greeted by a nice surprise. The pipes had become infested with roaches and came out from every open drain, Fear Factor style."
"We accommodate the US military whenever they send troops over to our part of the country (Canada), so we often get a bunch of them come in together, like 20 or so rooms.
On one such occasion, one of these guys decided he was going to exercise in his room since we don't have a gym facility. We are a historic building, so the rooms have exposed beams, pipes under the ceiling, old wood, etc. So this guy, since he is so intelligent, decides that he is going to do chin ups on the exposed pipe in his room. That pipe happened to be a water pipe. This guy was definitely over 6', around 230 pounds, so as you may imagine, the pipe gave out.
Water gushed through the pipes and absolutely flooded his room and the two rooms below him. He was on the third floor, so he flooded the second- and first-floor rooms below him, damaging the floors, ceilings, and furniture in the rooms below him.
After all that, he still thought we were in the wrong for exposing him to possible injury from the fall and attempted to fight the charges for all the damages he cost us (he lost).
Disclaimer: This does not reflect on military whatsoever, 99% have been amazingly kind and nice dudes and dudettes, this guy was just born an idiot."
"I was at the desk one night and get a call from one of the guests to bring him a fridge (the hotel doesn't have fridges in rooms but has 6 or 7 on stock in case anyone needs one in their room for food/medicine). So I go down and grab it and bring it up to his room and knock.
He yells out 'Come in.'
So I pull out my bellcard and swipe it through and open the door. As I do, I look into the room and there is the guest, in the middle of the room, standing buck naked, hands resting on his hips. He was in his forties: big belly, hairy guy, definitely not model material. I am of course shocked by this so I mutter out 'Oh...sorry I can come back.'
But he is unfazed and says 'Oh no that's ok, you can leave that there (points at the wall).'
So I do as requested, the customer is always right, eh? And he thanks me and hands me $20. I leave just as confused as when I opened the door. I figure the guy gets off on having people see him naked, doesn't matter what gender apparently (since I am a dude)."
"I was staying in a Knights Inn in Columbus, Ohio. It was a really shady area, but the hotel was like 30 bucks a night, so I was like whatever...
Lock on the door didn't work, but it was 3 a.m. and I was tired, so I propped a chair on the door. The room seemed clean and in good order...I checked under the mattress for bedbugs (or at least the blood splatter from them, I read that somewhere on the internet.) All seemed to be good.
Crawled in under the covers, and felt something with me. It was fabric, obviously, but still felt..eh. Crusty? So I throw off the blanket and the covers, and find...a pair of women's underwear COMPLETELY covered in feces. Full grown panties, pretty big...
Needless to say, I was NOT happy. My bare legs had touched that (and it had been a terrible 8-hour drive), so I move the chair from the door and go storming up to the office.
Indian guy behind the counter can tell I'm mad, and he seems a little scared. I tell him the story, and he looks at me like i'm crazy and says I'm lying. I get REALLY mad and tell him to come look for himself. He refuses to come out from behind the glass counter (probably thinks I'm about to murder him).
This is when I should probably take a deep breath, and calm down. Instead, I go back to the room, pick the underwear up with a towel, bring it back, and just jam them into the credit card slot.
The Indian guy was NOT happy.
I ended up getting 10% off for 4 days. And a new room. That's it.
Never. Going. Back."
"I work in a pretty decent hotel, but there is this one regular customer who stays nearly every week. I wouldn't be exaggerating to say he is wildly obese---so fat that I fully expect to go into his hotel room one day and find him dead midway through eating a mars bar, that kind of fat. I assume he is too fat to wipe himself after he has been to the toilet to phrase it mildly so he uses a towel and then just leaves it on the floor with streaks of crap on it for the housekeepers to find. He often throws away his underwear too, as he soils himself. All of the staff members at the hotel know that he does this and he comes in every week knowing that we know he uses towels instead of toilet paper. He also leaves blood stains on the bed, as his feet bleed from carrying around so much weight."
"This one happened over a few days and mostly in the lobby. We have these long-term guests that stay for roughly 60 days per visit, they all work for the same company and there are 3 of them. They all enjoy drinking heavily and being out late. It is important to note that they are also all married.
The biggest prick of the 3 went out one night, maybe 3 months ago and met this girl whom he decided to start seeing. She was always with him, he'd come in the hotel and she'd be following, he would go out and she would hang out in his room until he got back. He is in his late forties, she is no more than twenty-something.
So they go on dating for a few months when he starts getting annoyed with her, kind of wants to get rid of her. He tries a few times unsuccessfully. This all comes to a crashing halt one night where all 3 of the workers go out together. She finds them and tries to get back with her beau, but he will have none of it. This guy leaves early and she follows him back trying to butter him up. He once again leaves, while she hangs around the desk being miserable. She disappears for a while; she had a pizza box with her, which is important because she decides that she is going to go in his room (he had stupidly given her a key) to wait for him. This doesn't last long, however, since one of this guy's coworkers texts this girl to hang out.
For some reason, she thinks this is a good idea and comes down the lobby to meet him. They can be seen going into his room on the camera. Now as this is happening, the original guy comes back to his room. She had left her pizza box in there, so he knows she was in the room. He comes down upset, and then somehow learns that she is in his co-worker's room. He is now absolutely furious even though a) he wanted to break up with her and b) he is married with kids.
He goes to his coworker's room pounding on the door to come out. It almost becomes a fist fight, but eventually, he just storms off.
I only saw her once more in the hotel when the first guy came down and gave her money, not sketchy at all right? The two guys involved are best buds again, going out getting trashed every night and attempting to cheat on their wives."
"My husband and I were PCSing (Permanent Change of Station) to a military base overseas, so we went through Seattle. Well, in our haste (our PCS was fraught with a multitude of issues), we forgot to schedule a hotel room (they made us leave early, so we had five days to kill). Unfortunately, there happened to be a convention and all of the hotels were booked up. So our taxi driver took us to this motel called Jet Motel by the Seatac Airport.
We entered the lobby and were swamped by fake plants. The lady asked us to wait because our room was being 'cleaned.' Once finished, she charged us $55 for a room. Their elevator was covered with shag carpet (note: stroke the furry wall). When we managed to squeeze ourselves and luggage into the elevator, the elevator kind of spasms making us nervous.
We arrived at our floor and found our room. The door has no deadbolt or chain, just a flimsy door key-lock that does not shut properly. We entered the room and saw the crappy, duct-taped furniture. The bathroom has mold on it and a cracked mirror. The curtains to the room were torn and shredded in multiple places. The TV did not operate. The bed and chair felt very grimy. When we looked at the mattress, it was covered by cardboard and the sheets were dirty. Then I noticed the clammy, grimy carpet. There were blood stains on the carpet. Pretty big blood stains. The final straw was that on the window there was a large nest of spiders as big as a man's palm. We noped and left.
Fortunately, Seatac's USO is amazing and they found us a nice hotel to stay in. As we left, the lady asked us our reason. We said we found a better deal. Then she asked if the room was not clean enough, because it was just cleaned..."
"I was staying at a Marriott in Roseville, CA for work. I checked in late and went straight to bed. The next morning, I took a shower and grabbed one of the carefully folded towels on the rack above the toilet.
As it unfolded, a used sanitary napkin (as my mom calls them) came tumbling out and onto the floor. Clearly, it had been placed there on purpose.
Upon sharing what I had discovered with the front desk staff, and then the manager, I was awarded a free night's stay.
God only knows where housekeeping put my toothbrush for ratting them out."
"During a family vacation to the States, we stayed at this one hotel in Washington DC. At first everything seemed like your standard hotel room. We unpacked and got comfortable; my parents went down to play some slots at the casino while my brother, sister and I ordered and watched Gladiator. During the middle of the movie, we notice something crawling on the wall...and see a fairly big spider on the wall... No biggie, we kill it and continue back with the movie.
15 minutes later, my brother tries to get some water and sees another spider crawling on the table. We trap the spider with a glass cup but at this point, we are freaked out. So we start checking the room more carefully and discover what seemed to be hundreds of spiders behind the curtain all around the window. At this point, I start getting goosebumps and get that itchy feeling all over. We waited until our parents came back and then called security. We were promptly moved to a better room for free.
Now that I think about this story...this may be the initial cause of my arachnophobia..."
"I was in a fairly upscale hotel in Istanbul. I was a kid, so I explored around the room. I crawled below the vanity, and pulled out an orange strap-on, phallus attached. I ran out of the room with it in my hands screaming 'MOMMY, IT'S A STUFFED ANIMAL BACKPACK!' Because it was actually fuzzy."
"I was in Thailand, and our flight got delayed, so they put us up in this swanky hotel. Well, I had been at a resort for the previous two weeks without internet, and I had been sharing a room for those two weeks. So, I find out they have internet at the hotel and I have a room to myself. Well, fast forward a few hours and I am uhhh researching unclothed ladies on the net... Suddenly, I hear someone at the door, and I am like, 'Meh, they have the wrong room.' Well, their key unlocks the door, and there I am stark naked with a huge erection trying to talk to this guy who doesn't speak any English, (not that I expected him to) trying to tell him he has the wrong room. He finally believes me and goes elsewhere but yeah...only time I have ever been caught fapping."
"I was staying in this HORRIBLE hotel in Miami for a couple days because it was cheap on Priceline. From the outside, the place was classy, old school Miami all the way. The first turn off was that they didn't have any parking, and they couldn't suggest where to park for some reason. We ended up parking a couple miles away.
We get in the room and it looks like a prison cell. The windows are tinted white and have bars on both sides because it's obviously not safe to be in this hotel and they need to protect people on the outside from its occupants. There's a crappy, dirty, scratchy comforter on a metal frame bed and a TV from the early 1990s up in the corner of the room with not much space to walk around.
The bathroom had a permanently wet floor with a drain in the middle for quick clean up, which didn't matter much because this place had never been cleaned. There was blood spattered on the wall in the bathroom along with boogers smashed into the grout and hairs stuck around all willy nilly. You had to use the shower super quick or there was no hot water.
All of these things, I can handle. I was just there to store my stuff and sleep. But all night, I could hear everyone in this hotel. The walls and doors were so thin, yet there were multiple padlocks on all the doors. The icing on the frightening cake was when I woke up in the morning and turned my pillow over for a little fluff. I opened my eyes and there was a HUGE pool of blood on and under my pillow as if someone had been killed in the bed. It's as if the housekeeping had just turned it over and thought 'There! All clean!' It scared the crap out of me.
The elevator had a cool little operator guy with a safari hat on, though."
"HUMAN TEETH. My mother and I were staying at a hotel while driving from Northern California to Southern. We pulled out the bed from the couch and noticed the sheets were coming off on the bottom left corner of the bed. We decided to lift it up a bit to tuck the sheet back in and my fingers brushed up against something that felt like a loose bolt. I looked under and saw a tooth. Lifted it up some more and found 3 more. Flipped out. Called front desk. Got moved to another equally crappy room. Double checked to make sure there were no teeth under that bed too."
"When I was around 12 or so, my family (Mom, Dad, and 3 younger siblings) and I were driving from Missouri to South Carolina to attend my younger cousin's Bat Mitzvah. It's a long drive, so halfway through the Appalachian mountains, my parents decided we'll stop for the night. The only hotel we come across is this tiny, one-level, shady Motel 8 type place run by an Indian man. We check in and go to our rooms, where we're hit by a wall of the most intense incense I've ever smelled. We let our noses adjust and file in, where we then proceed to notice that on the far wall by one of the double beds is a white plywood door, held closed by one of those cheap, flimsy loop and hook door locks. It's weird, but we deal and hope that it doesn't lead to someplace creepy. My 9-year-old brother then proceeds to open the drawers of the dresser in the room, where he pulls out a 6-inch stack of the raunchiest dirty mags my dad claimed to have ever seen. I spent that night lying awake imagining all sorts of spiders and psycho murderers coming through that weird door/hole in the wall."
"In a so-so (but not super terrible) hotel in Southern California, I noticed a wet, dark area in the corner of the hotel room near where the back of the bed meets the wall. There was a swampy, musty smell coming from the corner, like some kind of fungus was growing. In the corner was a small cluster of live mushrooms growing. Not like little newborn mushrooms, but big, white mushrooms and their mushroom babies too. A big happy mushroom family. Freaking mushrooms growing in the hotel room."
"In the 5th grade, I won a trip to the Wisconsin Dells with others from elementary schools around the city. It was a weekend trip and was supposed to be fun. We stayed in the worst motel I have ever seen. The window in the bathroom was broken and a raccoon crawled into our bathroom. I was stuck in this motel with three other 5th graders I had never met, and we looked under the mattresses of the beds to find old adult mags with used prophylactics and vibrators. By far the worst motel I've ever stayed in."
"I was staying at a (fairly nice, actually) hotel in Berlin that had a communal computer in a corner in the lobby. I came back from the bars one night around 2 a.m., went to check my e-mail before bed, and noticed that the keyboard had some new red dots on it. Then I looked down.
There was a gigantic pool of blood next to the chair where I was sitting, and a trail of blood leading away from the computer towards the stairs. The stairs had a red carpet, so once whoever it was got to the steps, it disappeared. I'm not sure if that makes it better or worse."
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