It's never a good idea to keep secrets from the ones we love the most, but there comes a time when it's the only way to keep things going. And despite the guilt that rips our hearts, minds, and souls apart, we sometimes have to keep those secrets... no matter how much it hurts.
The people in the following stories know that all too well as they recently shared on a Reddit post asking people to dish out the secret they have kept from their significant others over the years. No matter the circumstance, each of these stories will have you feeling for everyone involved. All posts have been edited for clarity.
"Back in high school, this girl and I had mutual crushes on each other but neither of us ever had the chance to actually meet each other. After we finally met, we decided to go on our first date. It was a perfect date, we both agreed afterwards; one of those dates that is finished and you end up sitting in the car for another few hours talking. We end with a kiss and make plans for another date next week. We text non stop for the entire week.
Weekend comes and I get a text that she is going to a house party and I should join. I show up and it turns out the main group of guys throwing the party are the same guys I have major beef with. When I get there, she is already wasted and getting all over me. The guys say I have to leave. She says she wants to go home with me. I say I'll take her home. The guys say no, she isn't safe with me. In and out of consciousness, she stayed with them.
The next morning she calls me crying. Asks if I'll pick her up at the party house. I do. She gets in my car and starts bawling about how she woke up naked with the guy that threw the party and doesn't know what happened. She asks me to take her to Planned Parenthood to get the morning after pill (she wasn't on birth control yet).
We get to the Planned Parenthood parking lot (she's been crying the whole drive) and she tells me she can't go through with it. They'll think she's disgusting and horrible. She's convinced herself that nothing happened. I keep trying to tell her she should just do it just in case, but we'll do what ever she wants. She keeps crying and saying she doesn't want to have his kid and how they are going to think she is a loose girl.
She finally said, 'I need this, but I can't do it. I can't go in there with them thinking I am this disgusting person.' She pauses and the tears keep flowing. She then turns directly at me and her crying pauses for a second. She says, 'Can we just go in and you say you are my long term boyfriend if they ask. I'll just call you my boyfriend and we had an oops and we just want to be cautious.'
I say okay. We go in. She gets the morning after pill after she gets an examination (southern state requires a full examination). I take her home and we call it a day.
The weekend ends and I go back to school. I never really put it together over the entire weekend, but the guys that were in the party and the one she woke up next to happen to all be in my Biology class. Not only that, but they sit in the desks around me.
For the entire rest of the quarter, they would talk to me about having her being totally wild that night and sucking the guys off and all that stuff. My high school career never really bounced back because their teasing and bragging threw me into a pretty big depression. It was really hard because she spiraled downward with them for awhile partying pretty hardcore.
Eventually as things settled, I found ways to get away from the guys and the girl and I started talking again. She had stopped the party animal thing for the most part and we ended up dating again. It was always rocky and even though it turned into a very long term relationship, it was a huge mistake that only youthful ignorance and simple lust would allow me to make."
"My boss and I look really similar. We look almost like brothers or father and son. However, I am three inches taller than him, considerably skinnier, and he is sort of the dumb, sports guy while I am more of the smart, nerdy type. I go to barbecues at his house every once in a while and started to get to know his wife pretty well.
At a weekend thing at his house, she approached me privately, saying that my boss wants to have a child. 'That's nice,' I think to myself, until she tells me that she wants me to get her pregnant.
At first, I refuse her as I don't want to lose my job; I really don't think I could find another that pays as well. Eventually, she convinces me that he will never find out because we look so much alike. She tells me that since I'm taller, better looking, and smarter, she wants me to get her pregnant instead of him. We meet up four times over a couple weeks and I get to sleep with my boss's beautiful wife. Finally, she gets pregnant and she tells my boss that she is ready to try for a baby.
Nine months later, my first son is born; my boss is THRILLED and I feel horrible. Not only am I deceiving him, but this is my first born son and I will barely know him. Two years later, he wants another child. By this time I'm over the fact that their son is really mine, it is still weird but they are good people and I basically just think of myself as the donor.
Well the time came again to donate. Their daughter was born six months ago and their son is now 3. He looks a lot like me, I can see it in his eyes but I can also see in those same eyes how much he loves his dad and how much his dad loves him.
I have a girlfriend now, who I met about a year ago. I'm considering proposing and starting a real family of my own, I'm still not sure if I will ever tell her."
"My wife said she had DID (Dissociative Identity Disorder) when we first met. It's obvious that we are much further in the relationship now, but, four years ago, it was believable. One month ago, it still was!
About three weeks ago, I was told by her that it was all an act......AN ACT! A fail safe for her relationships. At least, this is how I understood it.
I know I should have left from the first sign of this 'act,' but, I have a bleeding heart and, what I have come to call 'The Hero Complex.' I wanted to save her and bring her back together and be her hero. There have been countless times where I have been told to keep it quiet (while I thought she had DID) and given the guilt trip about the fear of her possibly being sent off to a mental institute and left to rot. I kept it all quiet and did what I could by myself to try to piece her back together. Never really seen any progress though. Now I know why.
I acted like it just upset me, but, deep down, it ripped me apart. We argued over it and ended it with us agreeing on just moving on with our lives and doing as we always have without the DID. I often think of all those arguments I have had with her, her 'cheating' on me when I had ticked off one of the 'personalities,' how she used these 'personalities' to escape the arguments, pawn problems off. I chalked it up to her 'disorder.'
I can't talk to anyone. Not even her. She just gets upset and says we agreed to not talk about it. Maybe some therapy or whatever to vent? I don't know. I have been married almost three years and we have a son together. I love that kid so much. I loved that girl, too. I often numb myself emotionally when I feel the pain of all that was done over the past three years so that we can live a normal life as a family does.
And what bothers me most is that the act was so realistic. I don't even know if she is currently a different personality under the disguise as my wife."
"I moved when I was 18 to another state with my boyfriend into his parents' house. One of his mother's friends lived down the street with her husband and four children. Her husband owned a small store and decided to help me out by giving me a job. I had no car, so he was my ride.
One day he took me to a hotel instead, we drank a lot and you know the rest. This became a regular thing to the point where I was rarely ever actually going to the store anymore. We would just go straight to a hotel instead of work. He gave me a raise and continued to pay me cash. Yeah, I know.
My boyfriend at the time was a pretty big loser and cheated on me several times. Not justification, just wanted to give a reason I guess. We're no longer in contact, but he never found out. Neither did my 40-year-old boss's wife or kids.
After we broke up, I moved to another state and took the secret with me. I feel pretty dirty. I wish I could say this was fake."
"My husband is adopted, which he has always known, but he has never wanted to know his biological parents out of fear that he would be disappointed with what he would find. Out of curiosity, I researched them anyway. My husband is a sweet, very successful and exceptionally intelligent man. How bad could his parents be if they share his genes? Now I wish I'd never researched them, and I can never tell him or anyone else the truth.
His father is in prison and will be for the rest of his life, because he assaulted some kids. His mother is homeless and illiterate.
The irony of it all is that I am a very strong believer in the influence of genetics over environment. Obviously both are a factor, but I've always seen it as a 70/30 ratio or so. I do see the traits in my husband, though, that could have caused his life to go in a very different direction, as it nearly did. I don't know about his mother, but I suspect his father was highly intelligent but had severe issues.
My husband can never know, it would break his heart."
"I slept with a co-worker of mine for a few months. She liked me because I was the quiet type and I was pretty new to physical relationships at the time. It lasted four months and then she became ultra quiet with me, then started trying to get me removed from the division (Navy). Everyone was on her side, since they all partied with her and drooled over her.
Eventually, she got caught sleeping with a higher ranking supervisor and everyone backed off of me. She went on to be stationed on an aircraft carrier where she slept with a married Chief and was then kicked out of the Navy for it. This girl made my life a living nightmare for two years. She never knew how she was caught sleeping with that married Chief. She never suspected she had the easiest Facebook password on the face of the earth, either. She would log into my computer when she would come over before things got bad, and her email would pop up onto my Facebook when I was logging in.
When things started to get bad, I guessed her password on accident out of boredom one day, and almost had a heart attack when I logged into her account. I snooped. I found out how she really felt about me and also found the exchanged between her and a guy four ranks higher. Out of complete spite, I forwarded those exchanges to the guy's wife.
He also got kicked out and divorced.
I feel bad to this day about it, but I felt like the guy's wife had to know. She is now living with the supervisor she got caught with the first time, and I haven't spoken to her since. I hope she's doing well, but I know if she ever found out she would find a way to kill me. I haven't been in a relationship since because I'm too scared of them now."
"I met a girl in a video game (Ragnarok online). She was 22, overweight, but really nice. We eventually started talking on the phone and texting each other. I told her that I loved her and that we should meet for my birthday. I picked her up from the airport and told her that I lived two hours away, and that we should just go to a motel for the night.
I told her that I got paid the day after and had no cash with me. She paid for the room (and her plane ticket). We spent the next three hours hooking up. I even talked her into trying a few things. We took a shower together, and hooked up some more. I took photos of her and videos of us, which I still have on a micro SD card.
I then told her I had a present for her in my car and that I would be right back.
I went home to my wife. And left this poor girl there alone.
I never talked to her again."
"I am the father of my wife's best friend's daughter. It's not as kinky as you might think, though.
She was desperate to have a child and her husband was unable to get the job done, so she asked me for a donation. We went to the in vitro clinic and I donated for her. BAM! Instant pregnancy after two years of trying with her man.
She now has a happy healthy little girl. It looks more like her than me or her husband, so no one suspects a thing.
My only regret is that we had to do the in vitro thing, because she's a hot piece of tail!"
"My wife and I had/have a theoretically open relationship. We've always said that if we ever felt attracted to someone else, we shouldn't deny those feelings. This wasn't an excuse for casual hookups, but if someone else started to really mean something to one of us. It was theoretical because despite agreeing on openness in practice, neither one of us are the outgoing types so it's not as if we were looking.
Then I met someone that I developed feelings for. Strong feelings. And the feelings were reciprocated, best I can tell. I stayed open and honest with my wife the entire time. She was true to her convictions and was even helping plan dates for us. And then afterwards she would want to hear the juicy details. I've come to find that my wife didn't have an inherently low drive to hook up, but rather gets revved up with certain less-than-typically-socially-accepted-practices. And so she would warm up like none other hearing said details.
Things ended awkwardly. We're still friends but there was a patch there that was rough. Anyway, my wife keeps pushing me to make up with her, continue the relationship.
My wife is now pregnant and her already low drive to hook up has plummeted to new lows. And she keeps bringing up my friend like she wants to outsource marital activities. I am honestly confused and conflicted about this. She tells me we can't ever tell anyone else about any of this and yet seems to really want me to pursue my friend. To me, this wouldn't be fair to my friend, who is at a different point in her life now and wants something stable of her own to be in.
I love and am in love with both of these women. It feels wrong somehow that I am, and just kinda weird that my pregnant wife is not only OK with sharing but actively wants to."
"I was married for 15 years. I started cheating on my wife after she became addicted to painkillers. She got clean and caught me cheating. We started going to counseling, but I started cheating again, and started planning on a divorce, all while she thought I was working things out.
Or so I thought.
Over the next year while we were telling each other that we were working things out and while we were seeing a counselor, she met a guy in another state via the Internet. She started having online relations with him, and then arranged to go there for a week and stay with him. She told me she was visiting an old high school friend of hers. I bought this completely, and made plans to be with my girlfriend while my wife was gone.
While my wife was with her boyfriend, they got into some hard stuff. Nothing big, really, but they had a bad reaction to her prescription meds. She went into cardiac arrest, the ambulance was called, and she died in route. The death certificate says, 'heart attack,' but our family doctor explained that it was probably caused by a bad reaction to something she was taking.
The police questioned him, but didn't charge him with anything. I refused to press charges - I feel like he's already living with this horror.
I was woken out of my girlfriend's bed by the call from the police that my wife was dead.
I had my wife cremated and scattered the ashes in her favorite place. Our families were there. It was a very private ceremony. I spent the next year in therapy dealing with the guilt.
Four years later, I married the woman I was cheating with. That was two years ago, and I'm extremely happy. She knows everything - and she's the only one who knows."
"I'm a middle aged man who has been married for a number of years. I almost left my wife and she doesn't know that it even ever crossed my mind.
It all stemmed from an argument we had while dating... the 'number of previous partners' conversation. I didn't really want to have that talk but did anyway. At the time, I didn't realize that a major character flaw of hers was that she is a habitual 'one-upper.' I was honest with her and told her that I had been with over 60 women by that time after she had just told me her number was 6. She then stupidly asked to swap 'first time' stories, but she wanted me to go first.
I was stupidly honest with her again and told her that I lost my v-card to two 16-year-old girls when I was 13 (not in those words and this happened at an 'arts' camp where I was one of the only straight guys to 700 girls).
She then freaked out on me, and screamed, 'Well, I was lying I've been with nearly 100 guys or girls and regularly banged the same two guys at once!'
Needless to say, I'm a giant hypocrite and this grossed me out for years. I have a huge appetite and it messed up our love life for a very long time. I truly cared about her so I could never leave her (but came really close to it), but I got a gross visual 90% of the time we tried to hook up.
Then she somehow got pregnant. A few months into it, her hormones were a mess and she started crying hysterically. I asked her what was wrong and she said she had a confession to tell me. I'm thinking a number of bad things obviously with her past and then she blurts out, 'When I told you about all that stuff years ago, I was lying. It never happened and I'm so sorry for lying to you!' I exploded in laughter which made her mad.
And then I realized that I had almost left the love of my life over some dumb bull. Married now for years with multiple kids, and still laugh at the fact that a lie bothered her that much for so long."