True friends always want the best for each other, especially when it comes to each other's relationships. These friends share the most toxic partner their friend ever dated. Content has been edited for clarity purposes.
"I had a friend who was with a guy for 10 years. She waited two of those years while he was in jail; he's a small-time crook. He never had a stable job, she always paid for all his debts. He would continually cheat on her.
About seven years into the relationship, she broke it off. But not completely, they were on and off again for three years in which he usually brought a girl he was messing with on the side with them when they went out. He'd introduce the girl that would tag along as a 'friend'. Everyone was hinting to her about it. Everyone. Even the bartenders sometimes. Let's just say, there was lots of drinking involved on his side, she'd have a drink or two.
After 10 years of this, she finally broke it off for good. I asked her how could she put up with him for so long.
She said in a very upset voice, 'Why did nobody tell me? I knew he was a bit lazy for work but he cheated on me like a dozen times!'
I guess people get blind sometimes. We see what we want to see. Good thing there is a breaking point."
"My friend met a girl while doing a snowboarding road trip through British Columbia, Canada. She was working at a local bar at the time, from New Brunswick, and was a free spirit but in a weird sort of way. Like instead of being adventurous, she was more into being a bum on the beach or cave in Alaska sort of free spirit.
Anyway, they did the long-distance thing for a while and she ended up moving in with him in our hometown. Right away, I got a strange vibe from her and didn't really like her. I could also tell my other friends didn't either and his parents (who are normally quite tolerant) didn't either.
Then I found out she was into coke. How I found out? Well, we had another friend who lived in the apartment below them and I was visiting him while she was home upstairs waiting for my buddy to get home from work. She got high and thought it would be fun to see if she could jump to a tree branch about 15 feet away from their second-story balcony. We were sitting in the living room and randomly saw her body flop down on the porch.
She was fine. But she started making plans to go back to New Brunswick. He took it as an opportunity to road trip across Canada and start his life out on the East Coast with her. He quit his job, left British Columbia, and overdraft on his bank accounts. The day before he left, we had an intervention with him, about six close friends of his, including myself, from high school all told him it was a bad idea. We couldn't get to him and he left anyway.
A year and a half later, the relationship soured to the point where she would just look at him and tell him she hated him. He got into coke. His truck blew its engine in Ontario on his way over, so he was stranded there in New Brunswick and he couldn't find a job that could get him ahead. He came to his senses and made a plea deal with his parents. His dad flew out there, bought a new engine, helped him put it in, and they drove back across Canada.
He was a 240-pound muscular man when he left, but when we threw him a welcome home party at his parent's place, I saw he was maybe 145 pounds at most.
You know what though? We all still took him back into our circle. We didn't need to say 'we told him so', he already knew it. All he needed was his support back and we gladly gave it to him when he needed it. He got on his feet again and we are still best friends to this day."
"My best friend had spent hundreds, probably almost thousands of dollars on birthday gifts, Valentine's gifts, Christmas gifts, for him while he'd do almost nothing in return. She'd give him heartfelt Valentine's Day cards every year and he'd of course do nothing. She'd dog sit for him every time he went on vacation. Then she'd find women's underwear in his apartment that weren't hers. He'd embarrass her and make jokes at her expense on social media, which was seen by all of our co-workers and friends.
Even though she repeatedly told him, it hurt her feelings (which he'd then berate her for more), she'd still drop everything for him. She'd ditch me in the middle of us hanging out to go spend time with him. She had to be at his beck and call, but he would constantly blow her off. She lost a ton of friends over this guy, and I told her repeatedly how much I hated him. When she finally told him she was in love with him after like five years, he yelled at her in public and basically made her feel stupid and embarrassed.
When he finally got a girlfriend who stuck around, he'd describe their intimate time to my friend, knowing how she fell about him.
Now she is happily in a relationship with another guy and finally saw just how terribly this other guy treated her. We aren't friends anymore, but I'm really glad to see she's free."
"Date is probably not the right four-letter word to use here, but I had a friend who was head over heels for a guy that was basically just using her for years. She'd maintain his house, take care of his pets and basically bend over backward for him for anything both figuratively and literally because she thought it would make him love her eventually.
Thing is, it was not mutual. He didn't like her like that, only saw her as a 'friend' which he openly admitted to both us and her but she didn't get it and was in denial. He would also constantly berate her right in front of us. He was very quick to anger and would often try to intimidate and threaten people that were disagreeing with him. He wasn't stupid though, he would never make actual threats of violence, just raise his voice a bit, and move closer to you to skirt that line. He was a very fit guy so it often worked.
Anyway, this went on for years, which amazed me the most because I've never seen a friend with benefits relationship go that long. Usually, someone eventually says 'forget this' and moves on by then, but nope she did not. He kept dating other girls, which would emotionally destroy her but she'd stick around and keep taking care of his stuff for him. Then the guy and his girlfriend would break up so they'd go back to their Friends With Benefits situation which she was seemingly content with since it meant they got to be together in some capacity. Then he'd find another girl to date and they'd back to square one.
To this day, it is the most bizarre relationship I've ever seen. I haven't spoken with her in a while, so I kind of wonder if they're still doing this. The whole thing feels like a really slow ticking time bomb ready to go off but it just won't."
"One of my friends back in high school and this other kid started dating all lovey-dovey for a while, but after a bit, she completely shut down in front of us. It was like something inside of her died.
She started saying how she wanted out of the relationship and how she couldn't stand him anymore, but for some reason, she just never broke up with him. He got worse and worse with her over time, started threatening her. Eventually, her parents and the police got involved and they 'broke up' for like a month or two, but then they just got back together.
From then on, she weirdly seemed to bounce back and forth between being super in love with him and happy that they're together, to looking all dead inside and seeming unable to stand him. It just went on like that; he'd go too far, they'd break up for a bit and then get back together again. Then it would happen over and over again.
We all tried to talk some sense into her, but she'd get angry at everyone, telling us it's none of our business and we should stay out of her life. I think her best friend got so frustrated with her over that, that she completely cut her out because she couldn't talk sense into her or help her but she also couldn't stand to watch it go on.
We lost touch pretty quickly after high school, so I don't really know how she ended up. I want to believe everything turned out alright, but it's so easy to see a scenario where she ended up marrying that guy out of high school and spent the rest of her life miserable and trapped with him."
"When I was in high school, my best friend started dating a fella that was known to be a prick, but she was in love and we couldn't convince her that it was a bad idea. He started berating her almost immediately, but that didn't deter her at all. He would take her car and pick up other girls, then say they were just 'friends'.
She got him a cellphone in her name and he ran up enormous bills that she couldn't pay. He was even caught sleeping with other girls.
We were like, 'Okay, maybe now she will leave him.'
Nope, she stayed with him. He was street-racing in her car and smashed it up. She still forgave him, even though she couldn't afford to get it fixed. He took all her money. We begged and pleaded with her to leave him and she said she would, but then secretly kept seeing him.
Then one night, we went to a school dance and he started getting in her face in front of everyone. It took three huge guys to get him off her and the police were called. He ended up leaving her after that and she was devastated. The hold he had over her was crazy. And what was even more crazy were the girls that got together with him after all this happened, knowing fully well what he was like. Insanity."
"My brother and his girlfriend each have a daughter from past relationships. Both are four years old. Her daughter lives with them and gets everything under the sun. His daughter is treated like an outsider when she visits. My niece's maternal grandparents have full custody of her.
They were supposed to each get a tablet for Christmas, so I bought them each a tablet case as their gift. It wasn’t until Christmas morning that I realized the girlfriend's daughter was the only one to get the tablet.
He only sees his daughter 50 hours out of the month (if that). It may be hard to believe but he used to be a great, very involved parent until he met this girl. She slowly started to isolate him and use different tactics as to why he couldn't have his visits, it started with her convincing him he didn't need his own car, then refusing to let him use 'their car' to take his visitation. She’s extremely abusive with him (mostly psychologically) and although that doesn’t excuse his behavior with his daughter, it’s hard for him to see his situation from the inside.
More often than not, when his visit with his daughter approaches, the girlfriend would pick fights with him and he would end up not getting his daughter. If it was not a scheduled visit for the guy and his daughter, then the girlfriend would pick fights on Thursdays or Fridays and they would break up for the weekend. Then she would come crawling back on Sunday night. This usually happened immediately after he paid all of their bills.
Now they have a child together and she made him quit his well-paying job with benefits to stay home with the baby so she could be a waitress. He decided to go to school part-time, (an hour commute) and she refused to take care of their daughter on her days off, so he had to leave school. I've also recently learned that even though she gets 1,100 bucks per month in family allowance, plus her pay and tips and his parental leave, they never have any money for their baby. Then I learned the reason why.
She allegedly has a coke addiction. The person who told me was best friends with the girlfriend's ex-husband's new wife. Since he is my brother, I tried to explain things to him and tell him he needs out. And every time, he would fight with me and call me crazy and I was the reason for all his stress. Big question mark. I tried many, many times to help him understand how messed up all of this is, but as of right now, I’m 30 weeks pregnant and very high risk for many reasons, and I literally can’t handle the stress of it anymore. The last time he argued with me about all of this, I got so stressed that I had to go to the hospital to make sure we were ok."
"My fiance's best friend (let's call her Nicole) dated a guy a few years back. Let's call him Chad. Chad had a problem with drinking and consuming illegal substances. He would come home loaded and be belligerent with her on a daily basis. Nicole had a problem with depression and illegal substances (although always working to better herself). But she believed that 'love conquers all' and Chad was a great person inside and that nobody saw the good in him that she saw.
Nicole had a supportive family and stuck behind her through thick and thin, but Chad would always just enable her to use again. Nicole showed up to family dinners, revealing how abusive Chad could get. Her family urged her to leave him and call the police as the police wouldn't listen to her mother because she wasn't the victim. Nicole finally got on the right track and filed a report against Chad.
A restraining order was put in place and Nicole was back getting the help she needed. She was putting her life back together with the support of her family. The police told her to keep a log of anytime Chad tried to contact her or harass her. This turned out to be an everyday event of her logging his attempts without her responding to him once. After about three months of this, Chad began threatening her. Nicole reported every incident to the police and they would go to Chad and he would deny everything. Even with her daily logs she kept, the police said they were doing everything they could and recommended her blocking him (if she hadn't already) on all modes of communication and just ignore him until he lost steam and got it through his head and went away.
But then one night, Chad showed up wasted to Nicole's new apartment (she had moved three times in the past six months) and killed her. His defense was that he was 'under the influence' and needed help, so the court did not give him a life sentence.
Since this incident, my fiance and Nicole's family have worked for years and finally, last year got a law put into effect that requires repeat-offenders of domestic violence to wear a 24 hour GPS monitoring anklet that would work with an app to alert the victim if the offender came within a certain distance and automatically send the police if less than 1000 yards away. It doesn't bring Nicole back, but we can only hope it helps prevent another family from having to go through what Nicole's family had gone through."
"A buddy of mine started dating an exotic dancer and was absolutely smitten with her. There was nothing wrong with that profession but he was just kind of at a different place in life than her and we all knew there was no way it was going to work out. He could party, but she was absolutely wild. We all tried to gently point this out to him, but he wouldn’t hear any of it and got upset with us for 'trying to sabotage his happy relationship.'
As things moved forward, she started having angry outbursts and literally just ran away almost every time we’d all hang out. Still, he persisted with the relationship.
Eventually, she was ousted from her apartment for not paying rent, and to all of our dismay, my friend invited her to move in with him. I’ve never face palmed so hard in my life, but he’s an adult and could make his own decisions.
It ended several weeks later when he came home to find she had thrown all of his clothes and belongings out the window onto the sidewalk in a tantrum. She was trying to kick him out of his own apartment. He finally saw the light."
"The guy loved bragging about what a prick he was. Treated her like garbage and never seemed interested in her, until he found out how rich she was (one of her dad's companies got sold and the news was public, so her dad couldn't keep his name off the Forbes list). Then, he publicly declared they were together, after three years of toying with her.
At every family event, he was at, he just treated it like one big networking bonanza. He didn't seem to have a clear job but claimed he was in finance. He also claimed to be 'working remotely' while freeloading at her parents' place for six weeks and happily treating all their household staff like they were his employees.
We all tried telling her, and even though we're like sisters, she actually told me, 'It's ok if you don't like him, you don't have to.'
Her father reminded her that it's in their family constitution that any potential spouse must be thoroughly vetted by private investigators first. He gave her the courtesy of warning her that he was going to do it in exchange for her agreement that she wouldn't tell him while the investigation was ongoing. She confidently agreed, completely believing he'd come clean.
Yeah, he was cheating on her.
She was a mess for the longest time but fortunately, she's fine now and married to the most awesome guy ever."
"My friend and this girl got together and she immediately took over his house which she began referring to as 'her' house. He would come home and find out that she had her father over and they two would actually remodel portions of the house without even letting him know.
The dude was a commercial artist. So he had a small office/studio in one of the unused bedrooms. While he was at work, she and her dad took everything out of his office/studio, moved it to the basement, and then moved the washer and dryer to that room. Then, apparently, realized that there were no ducts for the dryer and they needed some 220 outlets installed so she called him at work ticked off that his house 'sucked' and he needed to get an electrician over there 'as soon as possible' to fix this, which he had to pay the emergency rate.
I was hoping he'd see the light. Unfortunately, he did, but only after two kids and her forcing him to quit his good job with benefits."
"My best friend is in the military. We were in our mid-20s when he started dating a slightly older woman, mid-30s. She got four kids from three different dads. But overall she seemed really cool otherwise the first few times I met her. My boy has had some issues with dating so I got why he liked her but I definitely thought he could do better. But hey, we're in our 20's. If he wants to hook up with a more experienced woman for a bit, I'm ok with it.
Then he came to work one day and was telling a mutual friend of ours he was engaged. Now, this was on April first. I called rubbish. There was no way he was engaged to her. They had been dating less than a year, probably like six months. No way. I'm his best friend and this was the first I was hearing about this. I told our mutual friend that he was lying to his face. This was an April fools joke. It had to be.
Unfortunately, the joke was on me because they were engaged. And got married shortly thereafter. At the wedding, everyone was telling him to just leave and not go through with it. All of the groomsmen were pulling him aside, individually at first then as a group, to tell him to leave.
His dad was standing there and just looked away like, 'I don't see anything.'
He went through with it and married her. Few months after they got married, she talked him into adopting her oldest, since that dad was out of the picture. He did. The ink was still wet on the adoption papers getting finalized when she turned into a raging prick. Just non-stop raging at him, belittling him, and just downright mean all the time.
They lasted 14 months total maybe. Just a few months after the adoption was official, he filed for divorce. He ended up paying child support for over 10 years. The child ended up being raised by the grandparents and he paid the money to them but still, ouch."