Some people out there say that "The customer is always right." Well here is an even more accurate statement, "You can't fix stupid." If you've worked in the service industry then you know what we're talking about. Check out these stories from workers who had to deal with the stupidest questions asked from customers.

This Lady's Brain Was Buffering
This Lady's Brain Was Buffering

"I used to work at a Volvo dealership. One day I came back from lunch a little early and a customer pointed to her car and asked if I knew when it would be ready. Pretty standard question but I honestly had not clue since the auto tech working on it was at lunch for another 20 minutes. I explained this to her but of course, that would be too easy. Our convo went something like this:

Woman: ‘Well, I need to get going is it fixed yet?’

Me: ‘I have no idea? What was wrong with it?’

Woman: ‘My headlights don't work.’

Me: ‘Okay well, looking at your vehicle from here I can assume that, no it's not fixed yet.’

Her Volvo could be seen from the waiting room with one of its headlights out of its socket.

Woman: ‘Humph, do you know how much longer this might take because I need to get going, mister.’

Me: ‘Once again no I don't know what's wrong as THE Tech that's working on it isn't here to ask. He’s out for lunch but will be back in 20.’

Woman: ‘Well I need to leave.’

Me: ‘Okay, would you like me to bring it up for you?’

Woman: ‘Wait, Is it fixed now? I need to have my lights working.’

Me: ‘No it's not fixed. You will have to wait for the tech to get back from lunch.’

Woman: ‘I need to have my lights fixed.’

Me: ‘ I’ve heard. And as I’ve said you will have to wait until he gets back from lunch to figure it out.’

Woman: ‘But I need to go.’

At this point, I was so close to face-palming right in front of this woman. Such a simple concept is lost upon an even simpler person.

Me: ‘Okay, miss. You have three choices. Leave the car and wait, take the car and come back later, or get a rental car.’

Woman: ‘I don't want to pay for a rental.’

Me: ‘Then you have two choices leave your car or take it home.’

Woman: ‘But I can't take the car if the lights don't work.’

Me: ‘Well that narrows your options to waiting then, doesn’t it, huh?’

I was hoping that maybe things were beginning to make sense to her but alas...

Woman: ‘But I have to go!’

By now I was at my wit's end with this woman. I walked her to the manager's office and said wait here. He will be back in a few minutes. And I left. I don’t get paid enough for this."

Lady Refuses To Comprehend That Ice Cream Melts
Lady Refuses To Comprehend That Ice Cream Melts

“I worked at Coldstone Creamery one summer and loved the job through and through. Best job ever. I lived in a desert town and people were so stoked to be getting something to cool off that they didn't even complain about long lines or anything.

One day, a girl came in and ordered an item that had hot fudge. I would always mix in the other ingredients and put the fudge over top of it, so that it wouldn't melt the ice cream. She requested specifically that I mix in the fudge. I hand her order, and she looks at it and says 'It's all melted.'

I say I'm sorry, I can remake it and just pour the fudge over the top. She says please remake it, but still mix in the fudge. I point out we're probably going to be having the same conversation in about two minutes about how hot things melt the ice cream, but she insists.

I redo her order the way she requested. She looks at it again and, predictably enough, complains that it's melted. I say I'm sorry, but I am unable to keep hot things from making ice cream melt. This idiot tells me 'no offense,' but she would rather have a coworker remake it.

I get my manager and explain what's happening. He offers to remake it. You can guess what happened.

After the third bowl of melted ice cream doesn't meet her approval, she says she may just want a different item. The manager says he's not giving her the fourth item if she only paid for one. So she demands her money back. He says no, so she calls us both idiots and storms out. I honestly don’t know what else I could’ve done though. It’s not my fault but this moron couldn’t understand that hot stuff melts ice cream.”

There Was Something Just A Little Off About Her Bill...
There Was Something Just A Little Off About Her Bill...

“I worked at an Australian telephone company, and the biggest, most hated one at that, Telstra. I was 21 and an assistant manager of the store. I often copped a lot of angry, yelling customers bit this one lady takes the cake.

She walks in, in a huff and ignores the line of customers at the counter, and just yells, ‘I WANT TO SPEAK TO A MANAGER! NOW!’

So I walk out from the office, behind the middle counter, and ask her to please come forward and I’ll do my best to assist her with her issue.

Well this prick, SLAMS Her bill down on the counter with the force of a thousand suns. She jumps straight back into yelling, simultaneously asking me to 'EXPLAIN THIS TO ME' while not giving me a chance to talk.

I try pretty hard for about five minutes to get a word in, and the whole time she is just yelling, foot-stomping, jerkily gesturing to her bill and how we were robbing her blind, and she never made these calls, never used that data, who do we think we are!

All the customers and staff have now stopped and are now staring at this lady, she seems very aggressive and some of the male staff from out the back have come near the counter in case this lady tried to get physical.

Her ranting continues, now at the customers, telling them not to shop here, that we are thieves and a horrible company.

After she seems to be all yelled out, she leans across the counter and gets in my face, and asks me ‘What are you going to do about this?’ And shoves her bill in my face.

I took a step back, and calmly responded, 'Nothing'

Lady is SHOCKED. she is flabbergasted! After all her efforts of yelling and scene-making, I, the manager of this Telco store wasn't going to bend to her will?

She inhales deeply, ready to go on another explosive rant, face red and eyes squint when I interrupt her and calmly ask,

‘You do realize this is an Optus bill? And you are in a Telstra shop. Now if you are quite done, I'd like you to leave now please.’

Somehow she looked.....even angrier? Embarrassed? So red-faced. She took her bill off the counter and stomped out of the store.

The whole store was quiet for about, five seconds? Then everyone went back to their inquiries and resumes their day as per usual.

We were the biggest Telstra store in the city, so we did get aggressive people every so often, but this lady I will always remember. Apparently, she didn’t know how to read or something. Still feel sorry for the poor Optus rep that had to deal with her.”

"Does Cheese Have Dairy?"
"Does Cheese Have Dairy?"

"Worked at a popular cafe so as you could imagine we got stupid questions all the time. These are my two favorites though.

One time I had a man flag me down in a frenzy then start shouting at me about this ‘weird worm’ in his pie. ‘Worm pie, huh? This gonna be good,’ I thought to myself.

I took a quick look at the pie and noticed it was in fact not a worm, but actually a piece of onion. This old stupid man could not tell the difference between an actual onion and a worm. Simply amazing.

After a couple of minutes of calming the man down I ask him what sort of pie he ordered. He'd ordered beef and onion. He had me swap his half eaten beef and onion pie for another beef and onion pie because I guess one onion looked too much like a worm? You really can’t make this up.

Another time I was delivering a large tray of food to a table. Everything going fine, just a couple sandwiches and some drinks. As I'm about to walk away the older guy at the table grabs my attention. The conversation went like this:

Guy: ‘Is this [cheese sandwich] dairy free?’ 

Me: ‘As far as I'm aware we don't do dairy-free cheese so no.’ 

Guy: ‘No, no. I mean does it have any milk products in it?’ 

Me: ‘Yes it's got cheese and butter in it. That is in fact dairy.’ 

Guy: ‘Well can you bring me it back without the dairy products?’ 

Me: ‘You want your cheese sandwich without any dairy products?’ 

Him: ‘Yes, please!’

I promptly returned it to my manager, let her know the situation and said ‘Good luck figuring that one out.’ ‘Does cheese have dairy in it?’ Gimme a break!’

The Story Of The Soup Lady
The Story Of The Soup Lady

"Customer orders a bowl of soup to go. We are very busy, and currently out of the type of soup she ordered. I tell her it will be a significant wait, as it takes at least ten minutes to heat up soup. She agrees. Two minutes later she asks me where her soup is. Two minutes later, she asks again. I get frustrated and tell her we'll put it in the microwave. Two minutes later, same deal. ‘Where's my soup?’

‘It's in the microwave, ma'am, but it will take a little longer,’ I plead.

‘Make the microwave go faster!’ she shrieks.

Okay. Sure. Why didn’t I think of that sooner?

Well, whatever. I pull it a little early, and it's still cold, but at this point, I simply do not care. I portion out her soup and get it ready to serve.

Our to-go soup containers were taller and narrower than the in-house bowls, which were flat and wide; the volume of soup remained consistent between the two containers. I know this because the portion size was two ladles, regardless of the container.

I bring this customer her soup, and she immediately protests that I didn't give her enough soup. She doesn't want to pay the same price for less soup, just because she's taking it to go.

I attempt to explain the concept of conservation, which is typically grasped around age 7, to this fully-grown adult woman. She stares at me the entire time with this suspicious look on her face like she thinks I'm trying to pull a fast one on her. 

‘But the bowls in house are bigger,’ she whines.

Eventually, this fastidious woman takes her soup and leaves. I breathe a sigh of relief but unfortunately, it only lasts a moment because I’m sure you guessed it; the soup lady is back! This incorrigibly stupid woman shows up with the soup in hand...OVER ONE HOUR LATER with a complaint ready to go.

She walks up to the counter and says in an annoyed voice, 'It's cold.'

My soul just about left my body in disbelief. No duh, its been an hour lady and you wouldn't let us heat it up all the way.

Long story short I don't work there anymore. My time is too precious."

It's A Gas Pump, Not Rocket Science
It's A Gas Pump, Not Rocket Science

"I was working at a gas station that had updated pumps, except for one. The one old pump had the thing under the nozzle you had to flip up to turn the pump on.

Now I can see on the register if someone is using or trying to use a credit card. This lady comes in and says ‘My card isn't working at the pump.’ 

A simple mistake on that older pump. So I explain to her that you have to flip up the lever for it to work. She tells me ‘Well I already put my card in.’ I say ‘Ma’am, your transaction cancels after a short time to prevent inaccurate transactions.’ It’s a pretty common precaution honestly but apparently, this went over her head.

‘Yeah, well but I already put it in,’ she says again. Okay, something is not clicking here. I explain to her that I can see active cards by looking at the register but this just isn't computing in her brain and now its starting to get busy. 

I explain to her an honest to god, two to three more times that she has to run her card again but she is still not understanding! By now I’m staring down a line of 15 people behind her. So at my wit’s end, I look past her and onto the next customer and say ‘What can I get for you?’

She storms out, gets her gas, and comes back in looking ticked off as ever to wait in the line she created. She gets to the front and sneeringly says ‘WHAT'S YOUR NAME?!’ and I tell her Patrick. She says ‘WHAT'S YOUR WHOLE NAME.’ 

I take an exasperated sigh. This cannot be happening to me.

I say ‘Well, what's your whole name?’ and she told me her whole name. I tell her that doesn't matter because I'm the only Pat that works here and she tells me she will be making a complaint because I was very rude.

At this point, I put my line on pause for a second and say ‘Lady, you came in, I told you what to do, you went back out and did WHAT I TOLD YOU, and got your gas, if I wasn't busy I would have come out and helped you.’ 

I was being completely honest but she obviously doesn’t buy it!

‘I'm sure you would have,’ she says sarcastically and then leaves in a huff.

Luckily my boss has my back. I told him about it the next day and he says, ‘Well if she calls me I'll tell her you only have one leg.’ We both laughed off the whole thing.”

Stupid Scheme From A Stupid Lady
Stupid Scheme From A Stupid Lady

"I worked retail in the early 90's. So, we still had actual price tickets which were scanned and read an internal SKU code. Initially, it would just bring up the SKU and the price on the screen. Well, we started having real problems with tag switching (ie, people would take the tag from a $20 item and put it on a $300 item so it would scan $20).

Now, this was a department store, so there was no one who truly KNEW all the items, just the ones in their own department, so people would switch tags and bring the items to another dept to be rung up so they wouldn't be caught. The cashier would just assume the ticket was correct.

So, to combat this, the registers were updated so that it would show not only the SKU and the price, but also a short description of item on the register when you scanned it (ie, 2574274 $19.99 Esprit Blue Skirt). The customer couldn't see it, only the cashier could.

We got new inventory in and this woman brought all this new Jones & Co apparel that we had received THAT day (and I helped put out on the floor) and switched all the tags on it so it rang up on sale at much lower prices. I knew what she was pulling, but I also knew she'd be a prick about it (just gave off that vibe). I ring the first one, a sweater, but it reads that it's pants. Just for kicks I try another one, it's a skirt, but it reads a scarf when I scan it.

So, I look at her and say ‘There seems to be a problem, looks like the prices on these are incorrect.’ She looks me square in the eye and says ‘Absolutely not, if you misticketed them, that's your problem, not mine and you have to honor the price.’

At this point, I see plainclothes security out of the corner of my eye, so I know they must have picked the dumb prick on the cameras.

I said, ‘Well when I scan your sweater, it comes up as pants and a different brand. Somebody must have changed the ticket on it and I'll have to take it off the floor to be reticketed.’ She started to say something but I had already scanned the next item and said ‘Oh, weird that one is ringing up as a scarf.’

Then I scanned another one and said ‘Oh, look socks.’ She started to look a little nervous at that point and just kind of muttered under her breath ‘Oh, forget it. I don't have time for this,' and ran out of the store as shoplifters often do.

After she left, security came over and said they'd been watching her for a while and to let them know if I saw her again. I never did - but not sure if she was ever caught. Stupid lady."

No Donuts Among Liars
No Donuts Among Liars

"We have a policy in my bakery that police, firefighters, EMTs, etc get their first item free. so if a cop comes in for a slice of pie and a drip coffee, we'll charge him a buck for the coffee and gets the pie for free, or if a paramedic comes in and wants half a dozen donuts, we'll only charge him for five, whatever. Only thing is, you have to have proof. Most people take advantage when they're on the clock/just got off, so we don't even bother asking them because of uniforms, but everyone has some sort of ID that they can flash when they're not, so it's a non-issue.

One day we had a cop come through, full uniform, and we gave him a slice of cake and a latte. He's one of our regulars, so I talk to him for a bit, he asks after my business partner, I ask about what his shifts have been like, the usual. He goes to sit down and this couple asks why he got only got charged $3. I tell them our policy, and they tell me one of them is a cop and the other is a detective in a small city in our state. I tell them that's nice, but we only have it open to people that work in our city and the surrounding areas.

they freak out. like absolutely lose their minds. 'It's so unfair! Why on earth are you being biased against us for no reason? Do you hate law enforcement or something?'

Which I may add, is a completely stupid question when there is an active-duty officer literally in my store but whatever. So next the couple demands to speak to the manager. I am the owner and tell them that. They insist that there's no way I could be, and tell me I'm lying, then demand to see the real manager. This goes on for a bit, until finally my cop buddy stands up, and asks to see their badges. They both sputter about it for a minute or two, and he firmly asks to see them, again.

Neither one of them had their badges on them. He asks to see any ID proving that they are what they say they are. They have none. He looks at me and says 'they're lying about who they say they are, and I sure as heck suggest you don't serve them,' and they scurried out with their tails between their legs."

The Loudest People Are Often The Dumbest
The Loudest People Are Often The Dumbest

"I worked for an airline. A customer calls in wanting to go to a city we don't fly to. No problem! I tell him we fly to [city] and then they can take another airline to [final destination]. Apparently, that’s now what he wanted to hear because he started screaming at me instantly.

He starts shrieking, ‘Are you new? How can you be so stupid? I am on your website and you DO fly there!’ I explained that I had been employed a mere 25 years with that airline, but I'm always learning! Then I directed the customer to click on the connecting flight number, then read to me what it says. ‘Flight 123 OPERATED BY OTHER AIRLINE.’

That really shut him up for a second.

 ‘Oh,’ he muttered. As for why he didn't just book it himself online will become apparent later just you wait.

We continued on and I made the reservation. This customer complained every time I had to ask for info or say a federally mandated notification. Nothing unusual about that. Customers get annoyed at the most minor of inconveniences.

 I did politely ask him to keep his volume down because I could not help him with my ears ringing though. Then I asked for the credit card number to complete the purchase. He started screaming again that he was not giving me his credit card he was using his BANK MILES...miles that cannot be accessed by me or the airline. I explained that his bank took his miles then called us and actually purchased the ticket, with actual money.

He went totally insane. Screeching! I let him know if he didn't clean up his filthy language, I was going to hang up on him. He then asked for a supervisor, which I was. Yippee. The coworker I begged to take this call explained the situation calmly (I listened in). Then the customer said, ‘I already tried calling the bank reservation line and they said I couldn't do it! Then they hung up on me!’

Believe it or not, most of my customers were lovely. This one, not so much."

She Came An Hour Before Close What Did She Expect?
She Came An Hour Before Close What Did She Expect?

"Lady comes into our restaurant, an hour before closing time, and announces she's having her bridal shower (at our restaurant) of 60 people in about 15 minutes from now.

We tell her we'll do our best to accommodate them but we already have a wedding party in our private room, which only seats 50 anyways, but we're happy to accommodate her group in the regular area, warning her that we aren't set up to just immediately feed this number of people, this late at night, all at once.

I heard her say ‘Well this is ridiculous, I sent out invitations to my guests two months ago!’

My manager replied ‘Well we didn't get one of those, you've made no reservation, and we'll do what we can to feed your group but the meals are not going to come out at the same time.’

Lady starts having a hissy fit about us ‘ruining her dinner.’

Okay? Well, get lost lady. You’re lucky we’re even taking you in on such short notice!

She was being rude enough that my manager then informed her that we'd love to help her but a party? this large, at no notice, at the end of the night would require a 30% mandatory tip, and we would only stay open long enough to serve their food plus 20 minutes to eat.

She stormed out, and a lot of her party ended up just eating dinner at our restaurant, (we didn't enforce the required tip for them), because they had no other option. Most tipped at least 20% anyways. Several of them left glowing reviews for how accommodating we were and how great the staff was, how much they enjoyed the food."

Arrogant People Get Charged More!
Arrogant People Get Charged More!

"I worked at a Japanese for a while when I was in college and we had this thing called a Volcano roll. It cost $7.25. A California roll there cost $3.75. The Volcano roll was a Cali roll cut into the shape of a triangle and topped with spicy mayo that has been heated up with about $.10 worth of fish, literally just a few bits. You are much better off ordering a Cali roll and paying $.50 extra for spicy mayo on the side and asking us to heat it up.

I had one guy come in with a girl and he ordered a couple of regular rolls like spicy tuna and yellowtail, along with a Volcano roll. When served in the restaurant, unless they ask us, we would put the sauce on top so it looked nice, like a Volcano. When I brought that roll over he was like, ‘Oh, I didn't know you guys put the sauce on, I've only gotten it for pick up and the sauce is always on the side. I don't really like it, could you bring me one one without it?’ 

I tried not to laugh and said sure. I went back and the sushi chef asked what was wrong. I told him that he didn't like the sauce and want one without it. He laughed and said alright, so he took a Cali roll, cut it up, and put it on the plate. I brought it back to the guy and he was super pumped.

Basically, this guy paid $7.25 for a roll that would have cost him $3.75 and me and the sushi chef got to split a free volcano roll. Normally I would have just told him about it, but the dude was being pretty arrogant the entire time, I'm guessing to act like he was a sushi expert to impress the girl he was with."